Full Text: The First 50 Years Of Marriage Are Always The Hardest Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: If you are going to act like a turd go lay in the yard Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!" Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out And Screaming, Woo Hoo, What...

Full Text: Lack of Planning on Your Part Does Not Constitute an Emergency on My Part Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: They call me Mimi because I'm too cool to be Grandma! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In One Hand, Wine In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up...

Full Text: If I ever go missing, I want my picture on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton. That way, my friends will know I'm missing. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for...

Full Text: If you haven't grown up by age 50 you don't have to Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: 5 Deadly Terms Used By A Woman: 1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up. 2. Nothing: Means something and you need to be worried. 3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission,...

Full Text: Things Our Mothers Taught Us - 21 Humorous Anecdotes Vertical Features: Size: 9x36 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I Love The Nights I Can't Remember With The Friends I Can't Forget Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: In dog beers, I've only had one. Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: What Happens On The Porch Stays On The Porch Features: Size: 3.25x30 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: A Dad's Dream: To have enough money to live the kind of life his wife and kids do. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Agenda for the Day: Let the dog in. Let the dog out. Let the dog in. Let the dog out. Let the dog in. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Yes...I can drive a stick. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Business Hours: We Are Open: We Are Open For Business Most Days About 8:30 am. Some Days As Early As 6 Or 7, But Occasionally As Late As 12:30 Or 1, But Usually Around 9 Unless It's Later. We Are Closed: We Close At 5 Or 6, Sometimes At 4. If...

Full Text: I'm Not Bossy I Just Know What You Should Be Doing Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: What Happens At Mimi's Stays At Mimi's Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: It's All Good Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Our Aim Is To Keep This Bathroom Clean: Gentlemen - Your aim will help. Stand closer, it's shorter than you think. Ladies - Please remain seated for the entire performance. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges...

Full Text: Do, Or Do Not. There Is No Try - Jedi Master Yoda Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: How To Handle Stress Like A Dog: If you can't eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away. Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I'm so busy, I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse! Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: When you stop believing in Santa you get underwear Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Beware: Dog Can't Hold Its Licker Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Weekend Forecast - Alcohol - Low Standards - Poor Decisions Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Really!? Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: A Man's Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways. Cigar In One Hand Beer In The Other Body Thoroughly Used Up,...

Full Text: Back Off! I have a sister and I'm not afraid to use her! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We're flexible like that! Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Private Sign Do Not Read Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Mirror mirror on the wall...what the hell happened? Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Let's eat Grandma. Let's eat, Grandma. Commas save lives. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Grandparents So Easy To Operate Even A Child Can Do It Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: They call me Nana because I'm too cool to be Grandma! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a great friend will be sitting next to you saying damn that was fun! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional...

Full Text: Your Husband Called And Said It's Ok To Buy Anything You Want Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Three Wise Women: Would Have Asked Directions Arrived On Time Helped Deliver The Baby Brought Practical Gifts Cleaned The Stable Made A Casserole And There Would Be Peace On Earth Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine...

Full Text: Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women. . . 10. You can trade and old 44 for a new 22. 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road. 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let...

Full Text: The Four Stages Of Life: 1. You Believe In Santa Claus 2. You Don't Believe In Santa Claus 3. You Are Santa Claus 4. You Look Like Santa Claus Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for...

Full Text: Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In One Hand, Martini In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up...

Full Text: They call me Papa because I'm too cool to be Grandpa! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I Love Cooking With Wine...Sometimes I Even Put It In The Food! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: A true friend is one who makes you laugh so hard you pee a little Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: What Happens At The Lake Stays At The Lake (small) Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Bed & Breakfast ~ You make both Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In One Hand, Beer In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up,...

Full Text: Excuse me...your birdfeeder is empty. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I Don't Want To. I Don't Have To. You Can't Make Me. I'm Retired Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Life Is Made Of Choices - Remove Your Shoes Or Scrub The Floor Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I don't have a bucket list but my f@#k-it list is about a mile long! Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: It's Hard To Be A Woman. You must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work like a horse. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Seriously!? Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Bad decisions make good stories Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: If you pour it, they will come. Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: The Best Thing About Grandma's House...Is Grandpa! Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I Can Only Please One Person Per Day - Today Is Not Your Day - Tomorrow Isn't Looking Too Good Either! Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Please, do not let Kevin Bacon die. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges...

Full Text: Cowboy Words of Wisdom: Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day. Always drink upstream from the herd. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. Never miss a...

Full Text: No Soliciting - We are too broke to buy anything. We already know who we are voting for. We have found Jesus. Seriously, unless you are selling Thin Mints, Please Go Away!! Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges...

Full Text: We don't hide crazy we just put it on the front porch and give it a drink Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So, if anyone needs me, I'll be in my blanket fort...coloring. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I may look calm, but in my mind, I've killed you three times. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Go Sell Crazy Somewhere Else We're All Stocked Up Here Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: No Vacancy Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: So, I just found out I'm awesome. You might want to get yourself tested. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, simply surrounded by assholes. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus...

Full Text: I wasn't born in the south, but I got here as fast as I could! Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: What If The Hokey Pokey Is What It's All About (large) Features: Size: 9x36 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot." Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Caution: Old People at Play Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Remember As Far As Everyone Else Is Concerned, We Are A Nice Normal Family Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Can't, I'm Booked (image of books) Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: My windows aren't dirty, that's just my dog's nose art! Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle Be A Sweetie And Wipe The Seatie Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I Am Lost: I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: It Is What It Is Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people...I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat...

Full Text: Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Thin Feels Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: Friends Are Like Underpants: Some crawl up your ass. Some snap under pressure. Some don't have the strength to hold you up. Some get a little twisted. Some support you. Some are your favorite. Some are cheap and just get bent out of shape. And...

Full Text: What happens at Grandma and Grandpa's stays at Grandma and Grandpa's Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: The Hokey Pokey Clinic - A place to turn yourself around Features: Size: 9x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Bang Head Here Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: The Beer Prayer: Our lager, which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk,) at home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillages, as we forgive those who spill against us...

Full Text: Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood. Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: The most important thing in life is to always be yourself...unless you can be Batman. If you can be Batman, then always be Batman. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF! Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I Have Flying Monkeys And I'm Not Afraid To Use Them Features: Size: 7x36 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: The Queen Is Not Accepting An Audience Today Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: They're called "man-hours" because a woman would finish that shit in 20 minutes. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting

Full Text: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for sitting Routed slot in back for...

Full Text: If you can't be with the wine you love, love the wine you're with! Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: We interrupt this marriage to bring you football season Features: Size: 7x18 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging