Full Text:

My promise to my children: For as long as I live I will always be your parent first and your friend second. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a bloodhound when I have to, because I love you. When you understand that, I will know you have become a responsible adult. You will never find anyone else in your life who loves, prays, cares, and worries about you more than I do. If you don't mutter under your breath "I hate you" at least once in your life, I am not doing my job properly.

Features:

• Size: 9x36 inches
• Made from solid knotty pine
• Beveled edges
• Routed slot in back for hanging